gojennings

How true

lickystickypickyme:

Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

A balanced diet is a muffin in each hand.

Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

Thou should not confuse your career with your life.

Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.

Never lick a steak knife.

A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Megalophobic

Another one from the old blog archives.

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Ever since I can remember, I’ve been afraid of really big things.

I know that sounds weird, but I remember one time when I was little, we went to this department store and they had a display of a big, ole sailboat with the sail up. I was convinced it was going to fall over on me, and it nearly scared the crap out of me! Then, one Easter my mom and dad gave me an inflatable bunny that was probably about 3 feet tall and that scared me, too. To this day, I’m extremely uncomfortable standing next to large ships or any really big free-standing (or floating) objects.

I found this site called Phobiaguide.com, and lo and behold, there’s a name for my fear:

Megalophobia: Fear of large things.

But here’s the funny thing… This is the fear listed right next to it:

Medorthophobia: Fear of an erect penis.

That made me giggle. Actually, my fear in that department is of really small things.

20 random things about meme

Memes used to be all the rage on blogs back in the early 2Ks.  Now they are just called “Random things about…” on Facebook.  Here’s one from the old blog.  Feel free to copy and post on FB!

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Finish these thoughts.

1) My uncle once: sang “Levon” at the top of his lungs while driving very fast in his Mercedes. It made me laugh.

2) When I was five: I started first grade.

3) High School was: fairly uneventful since I was the ultimate goodie-two-shoes.

4) I will never forget: the experience of having my babies.

5) I once met: Glenn Tilbrook of Squeeze, Bruce Hornsby, and all the guys in Blues Traveler. Oh yeah, I also spoke to Richard Lewis on the phone. And Tina Fey sung at my first wedding.

6) There’s this girl I know who: can turn her feet backwards.

7) By noon I’m usually: starving.

8) Next time I go to church: I will nostalgically eat Certs breath mints because that’s what my parents used to give me in church to shut me up when I’d start whining about getting out of there.

9) You know I’m lying when: I say anything is “peachy.”

10) What I miss most about the eighties: My youth.

11) If I was a character written by Shakespeare, I’d be: Katherine from “Taming of the Shrew”

12) A better name for me would be: Snarky McSnarkerton

13) If I ever go back to school I’ll: look up because pigs will be flying.

14) You know I like you if: I stop being polite and start getting real.

15) If I won an award, the first person I’d thank would be: well that depends on the award. It wouldn’t be appropriate to thank my mom if the award was “World’s Greatest Lover” or something like that, now would it?

16) Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro: all had livers.

17) Take my advice, never: drink large quantities of Jagermeister and Flaming Gorilla Titties on your 39th birthday. All bad. Trust me on that.

18) Tulips, character flaws, microchips & track stars: Pretty flower, we all have ‘em, implanted in my brain, and running sucks.

19) Why won’t people: just get out of my way when I’m in a hurry?

20) If you spend the night at my house: flush the toilet and clean up after yourself.